Why am I not working?
I’m approaching three months of working on Streakoid.
But I’m also approaching three months of living with my parents.
It’s been quite the jump going from Central London to rural Ireland. I don’t have a car here. So I’ve spent 99% of the last three months in the house.
I think these three months of being locked away without a car were necessary just to get some work done. To get the project off the ground.
But now I think it’s time for me to look for something else.
Groundhog day is getting old.
Why am I ot working as much anymore?
Is it as simple as me craving a new environment?
It’s quiet here which makes it easy to focus. But I’m missing out on the benefits that come from being around other people. It’s isolating.
I would also like my space. As nice as it is here, I think every 24-year-old craves their own space.
But it has allowed me to keep my spending low which is something I don’t think will be as easy to manage if I move out.
So it’s tricky.
Startups are about surviving and I can survive longer here. Because of the low cost of living.
But there is a mental and performance cost that comes from being in the same place.
Streakoid isn’t earning enough to pay for rent, which is a major problem.
If I leave I will have to to get a job to supplement some income.
I don’t know what. I wouldn’t mind doing some consulting or teach some programming. But I don’t know how to start those. Can I do it? Where would I do it? What do they require me to do?
I’m also concerned that it will take time away from Streakoid.
I believe Streakoid is at a pivotal moment. Although my performance over the last week has been bad.
I think it’s a stage where it’s ready for me to attack the world with it.
But there something holding me back.
I don’t appreciate all this free time as much as I did in the beginning. I need some freedom to leave and break up my day.
The solution might be a car, but I don’t want to be driving anywhere. And a car comes with a cost.
Alot of people my past self included imagined cars, offices and new mac book pros when you think a startup. But the reality seems to be keep your costs as low so you can survive to iterate.
My costs are low here. But the repetitive nature of each day is making me not want to work. The way I’ve structured my time I have nothing to look forward to.
Even these blog posts are struggling.
I also don’t know if these posts are losing their oomph because I’m not leaving. Or if I’m just losing faith in the project.
I don’t think I am losing faith, but I would like to inject some excitement back into my life.
Streakoid has taking over, and it’s too much. Dropping the hours I have to work down helps with the coding. But I’m still leaving the blog posts too late.
I wonder if this is a natural thing to happen three months in to building a business. I
I’d hope to get a second wind. But I’m not sure.
All I can do is take it day by day.
Maybe the problem is the pressure I put on myself. Where each day I’m not a millionaire, I’m like FAILURE ALERT.
A lot of variables at play.
Too much too pinpoint one cause.
Anyway, I typed this just to keep up my streak. This is never a good reason to do something.
But I suppose it will be a good example to someone that it’s not all sunshine and rainbows.
Sometimes you need to get your ass in the chair and type. You need to keep up the streak.
I’ll call this post here, while I continue to figure out what’s going wrong.
- Is it because I’m locked in the house?
- Is it fear that the project will be successful?
- Am I putting myself under too much pressure?
- Do I just need a new environment?
Time will tell.