I’ve come to terms with the fact that readjusting your routine is ok. It’s not a defeat. It’s a strategic move.

Personal failure alert – today’s been a bad day. 

Yesterday I lost my skipping streak, today I broke my no YouTube streak, and I stopped after six out of my eight hours programming.

I’m feeling run down. 

It’s the el classico yet again.

I get too excited about how consistent I’m being and I pile more work into my daily routine.

Getting rejected again.

Today I got rejected for a grant for £15,000 and support for building Streakoid. It’s like YCombinator all over again. 

I will keep going, but it’s just another thing I know would have been so helpful pass me by. It sucks each time.

This sapped the energy out of me so I went to bed for a nap. Still, with one blog post to write, one video to make and twos hour of programming to do.

The last week has seen up to 12 o’clock each night working. Which has pushed my morning wake-ups later.

 Waking up later means I’m always feeling like there’s never enough time. 

My YouTube addiction

I blamed my lack of time on watching so much Youtube.

I stopped watching YouTube after I realised I had averaged two hours of videos broken up throughout the day. Which just isn’t on.

So I went cold turkey.

It’s made me realise how much of a bad habit I have. I keep catching myself opening the app ready to dumb out to a new video without even realising it. Then I curse and close the app.

But my problem isn’t YouTube. My problem is that I’m trying to squeeze too much into my day. With no time for recovery.

I spend my whole day in front of a screen.

Pushing myself to hard

I’ve been pushing myself hard with Streakoid. It’s been a sign of pride that I’m a founder locked up in his house growing a scrappy beard and giving it 100%.

Not wanting to have anything left in me after the game.

But I’m slowing myself down from only focusing on the maximum amount of hours each day. It’s making me tired.

One of my streaks has been eight hours of programming Streakoid everyday.

Develop product and talk to users

YCombinator says that all that matters is to develop your product and talk to users. So I’ve taken that to heart.

This would be fine if all I was doing was programming. But I’m doing other stuff that requires my time on top of this.

I’m on a 40 day blog streak. I’m happy with this as it’s proof Streakoid works but churning out content requires a lot of mental energy.  

It’s not just writing the post it’s posting it to LinkedIn and Medium that takes time.

In the past I would have wrote this as a form of humble brag. I’m so busy – look at me. 

But now I’ve realised I’m just killing myself with this pace. 

Tired and stressed

It’s making me tired and stressed.

When I’m waking up with clenched teeth I know I’m doing something wrong.

On top of the blog I’ve also been documenting Streakoid being built on Youtube.

I like to say I don’t care what other people think. But I feel this horrible nag that I know other people will outlaw me for doing this. Which takes more mental energy.

It’s like a low background hum in my brain.

I’m torn because I know YouTube could be a huge channel to get Streakoid customers.

As a big fan of Youtube I know how invested I am in the lives and work of other creators. I know how dedicated the fans become. Building a community there would help me figure out how to get people on Streakoid.

Same with writers, which is why I’m continuing this blog. One because writing helps me figure things out and two because I’m hoping it helps me build an audience that can help me spread the word of Streakoid.

But I’m struggling a bit with both the videos and my writing being long-term payoffs.

Groundhog day is becoming a drag

I know I just need to keep showing up. But my Groundhog Day life is a bit of a drag at the moment.

If I’m honest, I don’t think my current approach is right. It needs reworked.

I don’t like to admit that because I stand by my mantra, hard work and consistency is that matters with success. 

I don’t want anyone to read this and think they should watch YouTube instead of doing what they care about.

It was necessary for me to lock myself away for the first two months; I don’t regret that. But I’m in a danger zone now if I don’t reevaluate and adjust I will land myself in trouble. 

While I was working in London, working on Streakoid in the mornings and training BJJ in the evening, I started to feel myself turn into a zombie like character.  It took me a while to recover. I’m getting similar feelings again.

As much as it pains me. I will drop from eight hours of programming to six a day to give myself more leeway.

I’m giving myself one or two YouTube videos a day (yes it’s a problem) but watching videos about startups helps me power through.

After a week, if I don’t feel good about it, I’ll go back up to eight hours.

Eight hours of programming has served its purpose, but it’s now it’s time to adjust. Accept my reality.

Everything is an experiment.

I’m not taking a break

I don’t want to stop all together because that would be a mistake. I don’t need a whole day off I just need to not have my day so demanding. There needs to be some downtime for my body and brain to recover.

All this coding is turning me into rainman.

It’s important that I don’t fill this time with YouTube or TV. Instead, I want to fill it with something fun. Catching up with my friends, going for coffee, or doing an activity.

 I need to commit to Streakoid. But as much as I believe I’m bionic. I’m not. My body needs more rest. 

I’ve drunk too much of the  “I’ll rest when I’m dead” koolaid.

I need more life to make working on Streakoid sustainable.

 

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